by: Briseida Ortiz
Today I would like to share with you 1 especially important and power-packed Key to successfully handling people with grace and love:
Everyone Say with me: I can extend Grace!
It’s easier said then done right? Isn’t that what God extends to us? What does that look like for us??
So what is Grace?
Some words for grace are: courtesy, politeness, manners, poise, simple elegance, generosity, good will, favor, to extend or grant deferment, or postponement…
There are many ways to use this word. But it is a word that shows an extension of Kindness in times when Kindness is unmerited, unearned/not -deserved or even not called for.
If we are going to extend the same kind of Grace that God has extended to us, we should know that it was unmerited grace.
It stands alone in refinement and elegance… A gracious person stands out in a crowd.
But it takes an ungracious or adverse situation for the Grace-filled person to be noticed, because it’s easy to be gracious and loving with those who are gracious and loving toward you.
To be gracious is actually unusual. It is uncommon to be:
Polite, When others aren’t being it with you… (Grace shines under fire…)
In Scripture we are commanded to be gracious with one another:
Colossians 3:12-13 “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Being gracious as a Christian will sometimes mean extending undeserved grace | politeness or simply walking away when it’s out of your control
While I have met many people who are gracious, even unbelievers no one is more gracious than the Ones who walk in the Spirit of Holiness.
Today I want to encourage you with the understanding that being gracious with others can best be accomplished in the Spirit. we can’t do this alone and we are not expected to do it alone:
The Key to Successfully Being Gracious is being filled with Holy Spirit
To be gracious as a Believer is to be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, meekness/humility, and self-control, which is the Fruit of the Holy Spirit…
So if you are filled with the Holy Spirit then you are fully equipped to be gracious under fire!
As women and men of God We get to partner with Holy Spirit in serving others.
Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Galatians 5:25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Be Filled with the Holy Spirit:
When we are in the Spirit, we are able to be Gracious.
Characteristics of Being Gracious
- Be Empathetic and Relatable (ask the Holy Spirit for His heart for others)
- Empathy | How would I want someone to handle me if I was the one in that person’s shoes? How can I show this person that I value them? How can I be present in this moment so that this person feels heard, accepted, loved, and respected?
- Relatable | How does this relate to me? Can I relate to this person? Find that commonality. We all have things in common. We should be intentional about finding it. It’s easy to find differences. As a matter of fact, we are driven to compare, but we should change that impulse into discovering what is common about us. Make it fun! Find the treasure in others that allows you to relate to them.
- Honor One Another: Being gracious with others includes allowing people to keep their dignity and honor. Yes, everyone that we will encounter in life is dignified or worthy. They have worth because they are humans.
- Romans 12:10 says it best: Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ESV
- You can Respond with Grace when you have been hurt: Going before the Lord and telling Him you are hurt helps to uncover the root of the pain and will lead you to respond with grace. Sometimes we are hurt because of how someone communicated a harsh truth. We should remember how that made us feel so that we do not ever do that to others. I Thank God for the saints who walked in the spirit who saw my true identity and graciously called me higher, activating my voice and authority as a believer when I was insecure. They modeled grace.
As leaders we should do our best to never insult the intelligence of others. A gracious leader, honors diversity, age, gender, and differences. Graciously embracing where that person is and treating them like they are worthy of being heard. Some ways we can show people that we respect them is by:
- Listening. Looking into their eyes and hearing them.
- Letting them express themselves without interrupting them.
- Showing that you care by asking questions that help them feel safe. (ie, How are you? How is your family? Tell me about your day? How prospers your soul? How is your faith?)
- When you need to correct them, be gracious with your words. Ask questions! Say things like, I noticed this about you the other day, do you want to talk about it? I love your willingness to learn, can I show you a better way to do this task?
- Tell me what you understand about this principle… I want to hear your heart.
- Are you open to hearing my heart and what I see?
- I think you are so smart and able to do what I ask you to do.
- You are doing great in this area, but can I help you with this other area.
Something to Keep in Mind
I have found that most people know when they have made a mistake so they will respond to gracious correction or guidance. People who have been insulted put their guards up and shut down on you quickly. To vex someone’s spirit means to frustrate them, annoy them, distress them, make them feel worried, or hurt especially about trivial matters (small or insignificant things) so Pick your battles right! Somethings don’t need so much fuss, only a quick light redirection. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you be gracious with the little things. So that you do not vex anyone else with those little things. Leaders can get frustrated when we have to repeat ourselves 100 times, but keep redirecting with grace, with joy, with love, and soon enough people will follow.
2 Comments on this post:
Hi Sabrina, thanks for commenting and I can't wait to hear how the boys receive this teaching. It's funny because I shared this with group of leaders and as I was teaching it, I saw a very young girl in the crowd and she was looking and listening with such intent... It felt like she was the only one in the room. I feel like this message is simple enough for a child but very powerful for all ages.
This is wonderful. I was actually having a talk with the boys about this just two days ago. The highlight was respect, honor, and mindfulness. But Grace is truly what it is. I’ll have to share this with them.